my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Monday, October 10, 2005
im so shagged and my mom says i look the part sigh. woke up really early this morning to meet ching to go to sheng siong to buy bbq stuff. going tomorrow morning too which means another early morning. it was rather fun actually, and the aunties were rather annoyed with me cuz i kept squealing. the fish all piled up atop each other looked really grr-ross and the sotong looked damn icky too. sorreh i haven't been to a market for eons. ha ha believe it or not, STEVEN got the dill for us because only cold storage has it. yay! i can't wait to try my hand at the dory fish, all thanks to my dear kevin! i'll never forget the yummy dory he whipped up for us last time :)
chalet today was alright, bummed around and i gave up trying to learn how to play mahjong after like fifteen minutes or so. played some weird game of ball but it was all good fun :) hrmms i bet they're having loads of fun there now but alas i cant stay over. momma's so protective :( but anyways my house's so darn near. mei lin and tart came over to microwave the mashed potatoes they made cuz the chalet had no oven. and they had fun playing with timmy! OH my favourite dragon show's OVER and the ending's so dumb for goodness sake. at least my darling white dragon's turned good in the end. and there was this game show after the serial that had him in it. gosh he looked so cuteeeee! :D:D:D:D
sunday: church in the morning followed by shopping with aunty doris and momma. it was really damn funny and i bet aunty doris' laughter was resonating through orchard. *hwei: i bet you can imagine it vividly hurhur* mom bought a heap of clothes and boy is aunty doris scary. the skirt was so short i wouldnt even wear it but waddaheck she has nice legs, i don't :( mom got me this nice tube. i was supposed to get this sexaye black dress but mom fell in love with it and she snatched it from me and bought it for herself. like ?!?!?!??!?!?! but i've got tons of stuff so i jes gave in to her. drinks with them at rouge in the night where i polished off a hugeass serving of ice cream. it was daaaamn goooood. i'm supposed to be losing weight but that was not to be missed. phoonie we've gotta do aight? you'll LOVE IT. and we gotta go try the fried mars bars too! :):)
kinda in a dilemma right now and suddenly i jes want everything in this world to stop, and let me breathe. it kinda feels like everything in this whole world is every single person's milieu, but in a different way personally. inanimate or animate, they jes make up something that's made for you to interact with. sounds rather selfish but sometimes it jes feels this way. i guess God's the only one that understands, but now it seems like God's in my way. either way, i'll still submit because there's no one else but God that knows best.
right gotta sleep, im bummed out. niters.
written with ♥ at
8:31 AM;